April. 21. New York. Introvert. Atheist. Bisexual. Loner. Anti feminist. Dorky. I blow out candles on August 20th. Aspiring cosmetologist and many other things. I suck at doing about me's so I'll keep this short. I follow back! Sometimes NSFW and triggering content sorry in advance. My blog has no theme because I
reblog whatever.


I dare you to click these ;)
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bruisedparasite:

I’m debating between the following:

Cheshire Cat (I have cat contacts)

Jeff The Killer

Eyeless Jack

I can’t decide!!! :( I’m not going to have anyone to hangout with on halloween, I’ll just probably be at my house with a sign on my front door that says, ”FUCK OFF!!!! WE HAVE NO CANDY YOU…

Be bloody diarrhea lolol

aluesora:

I FUCKING LOVE THIS GUY SASS ITS SPOT ON A CLASS

bruisedparasite:

Hay girl, why aren’t you one of my 99 problems? I’m here to give you 5 reasons you should be with me…
1: I can cook. I’ll make you pumpkin spice/cinnamon french toast for you everyyy morning or whatever you like and bring it to you in beddd. I even used honey because I know how you don’t like calories.
2. I’ll sit with you while you eat this amazing shit I make for you. Oh wait, where are my manners. I forgot to put banana slices on this… That’s right, I can cut bananas into slices for you my queen.
3. We can watch Family Guy in bed while you eat your breakfast… Did I say ‘Family Guy?’ I meant… Sex in The City.
4. Oh, you’re cold? Let me cuddle up and warm you. Here, take my shirt. I don’t mind being naked. ….No I’m not asking for morning sex, I wouldn’t ask for that after being the perfect guy like this. Pssh
5. You’re done eating? Oh, let me take that plate for you and hand wash it… Remember, I said haaaannndddssss.
I’ll have your panties now. 
((I know you can’t hear me but I said all of this in my head like Onision, lol))



Make me french toast and hot chocolate and we’ll be bbf’s for life

bruisedparasite:

Hay girl, why aren’t you one of my 99 problems? I’m here to give you 5 reasons you should be with me…

1: I can cook. I’ll make you pumpkin spice/cinnamon french toast for you everyyy morning or whatever you like and bring it to you in beddd. I even used honey because I know how you don’t like calories.

2. I’ll sit with you while you eat this amazing shit I make for you. Oh wait, where are my manners. I forgot to put banana slices on this… That’s right, I can cut bananas into slices for you my queen.

3. We can watch Family Guy in bed while you eat your breakfast… Did I say ‘Family Guy?’ I meant… Sex in The City.

4. Oh, you’re cold? Let me cuddle up and warm you. Here, take my shirt. I don’t mind being naked. ….No I’m not asking for morning sex, I wouldn’t ask for that after being the perfect guy like this. Pssh

5. You’re done eating? Oh, let me take that plate for you and hand wash it… Remember, I said haaaannndddssss.

I’ll have your panties now. 

((I know you can’t hear me but I said all of this in my head like Onision, lol))

Make me french toast and hot chocolate and we’ll be bbf’s for life

disposable-spleen:

1st place: my ear infection

2nd place: my tonsilitis

3rd place: my seed

Rules: send nudes.

surprises:

how to get over a crush

  • imagine them in a fedora
  • ur welcome
i guess you guys haven’t seen johnny depp or jared padalecki wearing fedoras. they’re cute with or with out fedoras.